5 reasons why MBA is the most useless degree

(The views expressed in the article are personal and does not reflect the views of the organisation & the stakeholders. In no way is it a comment on the MBA institutions attended by people at Jigsaw Academy.)

Hey there!

The above disclaimer aside, I would like you to know that the views expressed here are not only personal; they are deeply personal. And meant to be a satire. You can’t be explicit enough these days! I certainly don’t want an MBA brigade at my doorstep.

So why is MBA the most useless degree? Here goes:

1. People think it’s a silver bullet

Really? Have you heard the idiom “there’s no such thing as a free lunch”? Well, I would say that the most important life lesson after the preceding idiom is that “there are no silver bullets”. Get real. An MBA is not your passport to lying on the beach everyday sipping (___”whatever you like to sip”____) after 10 years. No matter where you do it from. Yup, not even Harvard. Not convinced? Find an alum and ask! (I have some references but find your own)

2. Okay, the above point summed up everything. But let me break it down for you. (Will the real point 2 please stand up.)

2. There are no shortcuts

Yeah yeah. Everyone knows this one. But everyone likes to believe otherwise! Why else would you have people opting for diets, buying lottery tickets, watching movies or playing video games? Seriously, think about it. End game: it’s hard work no matter which paper degree you have to back you up. (The smart ones just drop out. Bill Gates? Steve Jobs? Closer home, Naresh Goyal?)

3. When it is taken up

An MBA is usually a finishing degree. Boy, have people got the order wrong! It should be a starting degree. Why?

Because it tries teaching you everything and you learn nothing. Jack of all trades………….

The point is, it gives you perspective. And then you should do what your heart tells you to do. Don’t believe me? Check out Nikesh Arora’s profile. Don’t be lazy. I don’t want to link it for you. (I hope you at least know who I am talking about)

4. People take it too seriously

Well, getting through the curriculum is not really a joke. I mean there are some tough subjects in there and people flunk even at IVY LEAGUE schools (Yup, the capitalisation was intentional.) But some people go in there thinking it will change their life AND they will change the world. Seriously?

5. Okay, I said 5 points, so I’ll round it off here. Do it : Forget it

The most important piece of advice I received during my MBA was from my Entrepreneurship professor; who also teaches Corporate Finance, Management Control Systems, Mergers & Acquisitions and a whole bunch of other courses. He did his MBA at HBS, did his PhD at Columbia, has taught at HBS and has been MD/CEO of some pretty big companies. I’m saying all of this so that you don’t take this piece of advice lightly. What did he say?

He said at graduation: “the best thing you can do now is forget whatever you have learnt during your MBA”. Yes, seriously. Literally.

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Okay, now that you have reached the end of the article, let me take you back to the top. Remember “there’s no such thing as a free lunch”? Well, I gave you something now you give me something. Quid pro quo.

Think about what I’ve said. And then decide what you want to do. If you are reading this article on the Jigsaw blog, it means you are considering analytics as a career. Are you here because you already have an MBA? Or are you here because you don’t want to do an MBA? Or are you just confused?

If you are confused, talk to us. We have a team of 50 counsellors waiting to answer your questions. And this includes senior management as well. But be realistic, you won’t get to talk to the CEO straight away. Call +91 92435 22277. Nope, that’s not the CEO’s number. It’s the board-line. (But you still have a chance of reaching him. Lottery tickets anyone?)

If you have decided to take up PMP, then you should go to Simplilearn. I hear they have a good course. But I haven’t done it so I can’t know for sure. But I guess someone from my team should take it up.

If you are looking for Big Data, I hear Manipal Pro Learn has a good program. You should evaluate both our programs.

If you are looking for analytics training, then you should just buy from us………(those are not dots, those are meant to denote PERIOD x 9. Why 9? Because I like the number 9.) Why PERIOD? What’s the point in wasting time? People spend months evaluating and thinking and NOT DOING!

If you still have doubts about the quality of our courses, talk to our alumni or employers who hire our students. Don’t talk to us. You won’t believe what we say anyway!

To end, we are always happy to help. But only if you are truly ready to listen. Ciao.

(If this article was helpful, please drop in a line to info@u-next.com)